Orual's Judgment - Kevin Crowley

[My version of the ending takes place on pg. 297]

“I cannot hope for mercy”

“Infinite hopes—and fears—may both be yours. Be sure that, whatever you get, you will get justice.”

I closed my eyes, resting my head on the Fox’s shoulder. To be comforted like a child again, one last time before the god’s judgment, brought tears to my eyes. I sobbed, covering my face, forgetting my veil did a perfectly fine job at concealment. The Fox consoled me like the days of old when I would hurt myself playing outside, and held me while petting my head, whispering sweet utterances of comfort.

The reprieve did not last long however. Suddenly darkness overtook everything, except for a dull cascading light that shone from above, coming from some unknown source. There, within the shadows of grey and silver, the light (if you could call it that) materialized a body before me. I cringed peaking at the human-like form, though I could not make out what it was exactly, just to close my eyes again and I buried my face back into the Fox’s arms.

“Oh Fox!” I yelled, “Save me! I do not want to—“

“Quiet, my dear. Be brave and face your judgment.”

That voice, that eerie unforgettable voice, whose source was not from flesh and blood, but from divine authority, sighed. If world’s could sigh, it would be the sound of such, but greater than any thunder or earthquake, though it trembled my innards much the same. It was a masculine voice, but to say it was a man’s voice would be denigrating. It reminded me much of my Father’s voice, having a similar quality of rebuke in its tone. I could not bare to look up, but before I knew it the Fox suddenly swiped his left hand over my veil, revealing my entire head and face for the first time since I made my pledge. I could not believe what had just happened, but before the shock of such an action could be rationalized, the Fox then did something else more startling and out of character. He grabbed me by my hair and pulled my head up to look at the form in front of me. I gasped, tears rolling down my cheeks, I could only make out a faint blurry silhouette of a human form floating in the dull grey light.

“Orual”, the voice rang, Queen of Gnome, Queen of the dead, you have chosen your punishment.”

“Fox!” I screamed, “What are you doing?! Please stop this!” But he would not relent.

“Even now,” the voice continued, “You cannot see me rightly.”

He sounded disappointed, downright sad, but I could only stare wide-eyed into a figure of a man, that increasingly became more hideous the longer I looked. The body of the form became treacherous looking, its hands and feet resembling talons, its arms and legs looking black and decayed. Its head looked leprosy-covered to the point where I was unable to distinguish if it was a man’s face or not. It’s cheeks, eyes, and ears would melt and roll down its neck, bringing back that all too familiar smell of blood into my nostrils; but the head would morph into the appearance of a giant insect head with snapping pincers and hard rigid mandibles. Sometimes it would resemble a baboon’s face or a vulture. Sometimes the faces would appear to be overlapping all three creatures. I cried out in terror, misery, and shame, “Who are you?!”

“I am the One who you chose not see. I am Psyche’s husband.”

“I knew it! I knew it all along!” I shrieked, “You are some sort of Brute who devoured my sister! Now you here to devour me, you treacherous fiend! ”

“Before you heeded reason and chose not to see me…now you heed fear and see me how you wish to see me.”

While the Fox held my head up and in place to face this demon, suddenly Bardia and the Priest were on either side of me, grabbed my arms and held them outstretched. I was completely at the mercy of this beast now. I cried and whimpered, but nothing could be done. A soft “why?” is all I could mutter then.

“As I have said,” Interrupted the booming voice, “You have chosen your punishment.”

“The Brute knows no Justice!” I screeched, struggling against my captors.

“You blame Psyche for leaving you, as though you owned her; you blame your father for treating you with such disdain about your looks that you cover your face in shame, as though he put the veil on you himself. You blame the Fox for wanting to leave after you made him free, as though he too belonged to you. You blame Bardia for not wanting you, and worst still you blame his wife for taking him away from you. And you blame the people for twisting Psyche’s story when you know everything they say is true –“

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.” I cried.

“Silence!” roared the Fox from beside me, shaking and rattling my head. “It is the god’s turn now to speak.”

The Brute’s voice continued to speak out against me. But soon, like the hideous image that stood before me, its voice became distorted and scrambled. Soon I could not make sense of anything it said. In the deep silence I meditated on what it had said. I knew that everything it said was true. I knew what its real image was. I knew how Psyche could have left me for him. I would have done the same, if I was her. I then heard something, it could have been in my head…someone saying, “You also shall be –“

"No!" I found myself shrieking, trying to wriggle free from those who dared to hold me.

What was it? What was that voice saying? It’s getting fuzzy. I can’t recall. It’s on the edge of my brain. “You also shall…” The voice is fading away. “You also…” Its image too is going back to being blurry. Thankfully, I do not have to watch that grotesque creature cast judgment on me. “You…” Its voice is now a low humming sound. While the image and sound of the Brute vanished before me, suspiciously it did not get darker like one would hope in such a situation. All I wanted then was some peace. The darkness would have been welcomed, just a little solace. Instead, the grey light before me became brighter and brighter, until it filled the room. The light was unlike the sun’s light which gives off rays of warmth, though this light was not cold either. I had no idea what was happening, but I could still feel the Priest, Bardia, and the Fox all pulling at me. It hurt incredibly, but I was helpless. I could feel scratching of rings on my left ankle now. Fox jerked my head down to see it was my Father pulling my leg out, and then on the right side Trunia was pulling on my right leg. They kept pulling and tugging. I felt teeth bites and nails cutting into my skin. I could not tell if it was blood or their saliva that dripped down my body.

None of the pain mattered, however. I would gladly bear it for all time. The Brute was gone and everyone I ever cared about and loved was here, by my side.