In our last class we talked about the difference between love and longing. I think that longing cannot be love in itself. There has to be more. Love is not always about a feeling, sometimes it’s about choosing to love the person despite how you feel about them or their actions. For example, when in a marriage people hit that wall where they are bored and tired of that person. It is the choice to stay in that relationship that shows how much you love them, the fact that you have decided to remain even when you do not feel like it. Of course you hope the feelings and emotions return (which in most cases they do if you stick with it).
So, what is it about longing though that is so necessary? I think longing can be deceitful. We might long for the person or deity to be something they are not, or be somewhere they are not, or even to do something they will not. What then of longing and love if the longing is misplaced and wrong? Is it still love then? Or are you really not longing for the person at all but you are long for something they are not. I think longing is only associated with love when it is a longing that is for that person or deity to be with you, so that you can enjoy their great characteristics. We also mentioned longing that is selfless. I think that love can only be love if it is not self-seeking, relationship is self-seeking because it is about enjoying each other and being with each other, but love separate from if the relationship exists or not is not self-seeking. Longing on the other hand can be self-seeking or not, one can long for the other’s well being or one can long to have the other person as “theirs.”
Love cannot be interchangeable with longing, because love alone is not self-seeking and it is not about emotion and feeling all the time. Longing on the other hand can be either selfish or selfless and is completely based upon emotion and feeling.
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