Susan Watkins -- Falling Away

In Class Reading #1 (Chronicles)

Warning... spoilers for the last book in the Chronicles of Narnia!!!!! :)






When I first read the Chronicles, I always thought it was really cool that there was a character named Susan. I really felt a connection with her-- not only is she described as having brown hair like me, but her personality was always that level-headed, serious, caretaker type that I saw in myself. I loved how she was "Queen Susan the Gentle," and even though she wasn't as loveable as Lucy I felt at peace with it.

So, can I just say that I am WAY BITTER about how she is the ONLY one out of ALL of the books to turn away from belief in Aslan?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

Way bitter. You have no idea.

But anyway, when I get over my irritation I have to laugh because Lewis makes such an amazing point through her behavior. I got to understand this a lot better especially after re-reading the series knowing how it ended, so I was able to pick up on more of her underlying motivations and ideas. It's really subtle at first, but after a while you realize that Susan's good qualities of being level-headed and caring quickly begin to be tainted by the bad quality of wishing she were something she weren't. She begins to seek more and more after being "adult," both in her own behavior and in how she treats her brothers and sisters. This desire to be "adult" is not to be mistaken with the better quality of seeking maturity; while maturity is in many ways synonymous with wisdom, Susan more desires the status and respect which comes from being an adult. Any time we desire status, we begin to slide into sin and disaster.

I'm not sure where he says it-- whether it's in the Chronicles or some other writing of his-- but to paraphrase, Lewis at one point says that "It's the stupidest of children who seem most childish and the stupidest of adults who seem most adult... when we really begin to behave properly we find that age becomes harder and harder to distinguish." I think this is so, so true, and it's funny how in a lot of ways Susan's lifestyle reflects what mine used to be (and still is sometimes, when I'm not careful). I have definitely been "that kid" who wants so badly to be grown-up, to be mature and wise and the one that everyone respects. Invariably, when I was most like this I was the most alone and the most depressed... because when we desire to be something or somewhere other than we are, we miss all the beauty that is around us.

I'm thrilled to say that I am gradually learning to live where I am-- something that my literary counterpart didn't seem to get the hang of in the end. I hope my story has a happier ending than hers, and by the looks of it I'm at least heading in the right direction.